For the last month or so, I've been in kind of an awakening. I am SO happy with my life right now. But, something has been nagging at me.
On Halloween, I had my cards read by a woman at church. Without going too much into detail, she told me that there was someone that will be in my life who would be absolutely perfect for me. Strong, stable, grounding-all around awesome. Now, I don't know if any of you take stock in Tarot readings, but I literally got chills because I didn't say anything as far as what I was asking for, or give any information at all, but they were DEAD on. She said, she doesn't know if I knew this person or not yet, but he was waiting for me to make the first move, so to speak.
Immediately, a person who I hadn't even CONSIDERED saying more than "hello" to immediately came to my mind.
I see this person about once a week at most-at least once a month. I put the idea of who it might be out of my head because I honestly didn't want it to be about this person.
But, the more I've tried to push him away (mentally), the more he keeps coming back-both mentally and physically.
The kicker-the biggest bond between us-what keeps pulling us together-my children. They LOVE him. And he thinks "they are amazing." In his words. They have known him longer than I have, and they always want to spend time with him when we see him.
Up until a week ago Sunday, I hadn't seriously considered the fact that this may be who I am meant to find or reach out to. He said something to me, completely innocuous-he said I was crazy and I asked him why he thought that, and he said, "I dunno, because I'm crazy." It was like something fired in my brain. I can't describe it-it could have been nothing-just him being his usually silly-self, but I can't turn it off now.
That next night, we talked (okay, IM'd) for about 2 hours. It was right before I went to bed and he just popped up. Just like that. Later on that week, I asked him to help me with something and he had no problem agreeing to help. That night, we talked again for 3 hours. The next night, same thing. And now, I just don't know.
It seems so natural now, talking to him, spending time together. But, am I reading waay too much into it? Do I really have an interest in him? I think so. He is absolutely wonderful.
But, does he feel similarly about me? That I don't know. He's hard to read. He's so friendly I don't know if that is all it is-which would be great-he's a great friend to have. When he tells me that when he has kids he wants them to be as great as mine, is he just being nice? Does he just REALLY like kids?
I want to find out for sure-but, I am a coward. I don't want to make things awkward by saying something or by being too forward and ruin a potentially great friendship.
Well. I know this is a break from my usual writing, but it has been bursting inside of me and I had to get it out. Any insight would be most helpful, words of wisdom, encouragement, a slap in the face, etc...
New School Year
3 years ago
